I don’t know about you guys, but I love the freedom of not having rules. If my husband is not home and I have company that I would like to entertain more intimately, all I need do is turn on the video camera and let him know. I even have…lets call them exemptions…yes, I even have exemptions for those rare times when the perfect sexual connection is happening and I don’t really have time to go through all that. There are circumstances wherein I can just go for it and disclose later. There are taboos we simply do not suffer from. (I cannot wait until we start talking about taboos!)
Ironically, I have found that if you are going to remove some of the complex (and frankly, unnecessary) rules from your relationships, you must put a new set in place to keep order from devolving to chaos. In the military, the rules each side is expected to adhere to are called the “rules of engagement.” These rules help you decide whether you will allow sling blades and bludgeons, and whether you will allow trophies to be taken. (movie reference)
As they relate to sex, our rules tell me who I can have sex with as I please, and who we need to investigate a little more. I never have to wonder, “Hmm…should I tell him about this girl that just shoved me up against a bar and grabbed my tits, or can I just take her home?”
So, SINGLE MEN…yes, I see you there, too. Why would you want couples to have rules of engagement? I know you are tired of finding the profiles of hot couples only to find that their bio is insistent that NO SINGLE MEN ARE WELCOME. IF YOU ARE A SINGLE MALE, DO NOT BOTHER TO CONTACT. Yeah, no play. That sucks.
With my handy dandy rules of engagement that my lover and I have in working document format, we know exactly where we stand on that. We accept single males in our bed after a fashion. I even get to have my playtime alone with them. Why? It is because I have boundaries that feel good to me.
You will probably need to update the rules when something new pops up. For example, the next time I meet an attractive woman that stimulates me intellectually but turns out to be a transsexual that stimulates me sensually…well, next time…next time I will be ready.
