Casual sex is wonderful, yet it is often rushed into with passion and reckless abandon. Little forethought goes into ripping off one another’s clothes as two lovers arrive home from their night on the town. It isn’t until later, when the initial fire of chemical attraction turns softer and more romantic that lovers begin preparing themselves for each other more intentionally and sensually.
Showering, shaving and applying perfumes are just a few of the ways we make ourselves more marketable and attractive to others. Yet, I say that we do not dedicate ourselves to the art of sensual preparation enough. If you ever go into a sex toy shop, you will find lotions and powders and lubricants designed to augment the sexual experience. This is only part of what I am speaking of. Yet, there is more. I challenge you to try a more thorough and holistic approach. Explore all of your senses and prepare them for the intimacy of sexual union.
Touch
Take a shower and exfoliate your skin to make it smooth and alive. Apply a light lotion to soften the skin, avoiding highly scented ones. Massage your muscles as you apply the lotion. This will encourage relaxation and add a supple tone to your limbs not unlike the after effects of sex itself. Stretch your body; yoga is ideal.
Smell
Find a smell that evokes a mild sexual response in you and sparingly apply it to your body or the environment. The idea here is to stimulate your sent receivers in a way that triggers a sexual response in you. If you are aroused, your partner will be, too. Consider cooking foods whose smells are fresh and invigorating. Avoid garlic, onions and other pungent foods. Wash the sheets and towels so that the bedding and bathroom linens invite security and nesting responses.
Taste
Make sure that none of the products you use have a bad taste. Some skin lotions taste bitter or chemical in nature, and that is never pleasant when biting on someone’s neck. Research foods whose flavors go well with erotic activities and have them present.
Hear
Select music that heightens relaxation and sensual release. May I recommend Fever Ray, Amethystium or any other Bristol or Darkwave music. Listen to it first and make it something outside of the norm.
See
Buy an outfit that your lover has never seen before in a style you do not typically wear. Change the colors of the room with new bulbs or by draping colored scarves over lampshades. Be careful to avoid fire hazards if you use the draping method.
Lastly, address the sense of Spirit.
Meditate. Contemplate the effects of the upcoming love-making. Feel its sensual possibilities move through you. Prepare for its aftermath. Touch your own skin if it helps you to bring the meditation to a sensual level.
Now, invite them into the space and enjoy.
