Today's Adult Social Media, Dating and Personals News

Without Them You Are in Grave Danger

Posted on October 13, 2011 by Siren

I like to believe that I am an incredibly strong and resilient woman, and I am. Yet, I have finally learned the most valuable of lessons after decades of taking it for granted: Friends are what keep me healthy.

This became even more important after I began living an alternate dating lifestyle and engaging in BDSM activities. I believe it is because they keep me grounded. The ones that I consider my dearest and closest friends know that I have battled with depression since I was very young. They check on me and they pick me up when I hit the floor.

Some of us in the lifestyle have an issue with feeling too much. Even though I completely believe in and enjoy my personal kinks, depression and emotional reactions in general can affect the way my brain handles my lifestyle choices. My friends are the ones that remind me that I am valuable beyond my body and what I offer others sexually. They call me for coffee and not ass.

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Fetishes and Kinks, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Relationships for Love and Marriage, The Lifestyle / Swinging, Tips Tricks and Advice, Transvestites Transsexuals and Intersex People
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Make More Money While Webcamming

Posted on October 12, 2011 by Siren

I have spoken before on how webcamming is an excellent source of income for individuals who do their research, take precautions and persevere at the work. Just as there are niche markets in the porn video industry, there are specific genres of webcammers. This should be considered if you keep talking yourself out of it simply because you are not a ‘knock out’ by society’s standards. As a matter of fact, your looks are only a fraction of the tools you will need to be financially lucrative in the world of webcam modeling.

Tips To Maximize Your Webcamming Income

1) Be kind, polite, friendly and outwardly accepting toward your customers. Many people who webcam are also looking for company and companionship. Find out what they like and provide it to them. This doesn’t mean that you have to accept inappropriate behaviors, simply that you should overlook their quirks if they are not hurting you.

2) Get a mic. Many patrons will want to hear you speak. When they can see you and hear you, it feels more personal…more connected.

3) Always dress for work. Long day with not shower, no make up and wearing your grungies? Do not get in front of the camera. If you lose a possible viewer on first glance, they will likely not give you another look.

4) Tease them until they can’t take it, but don’t start removing clothes until they start tipping.

5) Conduct time period experiments to find the hours that are most lucrative for your genre and website.

6) Research hosting companies BEFORE you sign up. There are different fees, differing levels of advertisement and more active companies. Know who you are working with before you invest the time it takes to work up a patronage.

Filed In: Exhibitionism, Online Social Dating and Relationships, Tips Tricks and Advice, Voyeurism
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Target: Sexual Harassment

Posted on October 11, 2011 by Siren

Individuals who prefer alternative relationship lifestyles typically have dating parameters that are not in line with the norm. Our radars often pick up different signals than our vanilla peers. This makes protecting yourself from being accused of sexual harassment at work very important.

Any action or statement that is sexual in nature and that is unsolicited and unwanted is considered sexual harassment. So consider the tips to protect yourself.

1) Keep your alternative dating style and activities mostly or completely confidential. I know that many of us want to live outloud, but the fact is that keeping our jobs should be our priority. The office friend of today may quickly become the office enemy, which makes confiding dangerous ground.

2) If you have a dominant personality, be careful that what you consider flirting isn’t being received as harassment. Watch their body language. See if they are seeking you out. If you have to go looking for them when they work in the same office, maybe they are avoiding you.

3) Guard your reputation with your life; it is essential for promotions and raises. If you have a strong, healthy reputation, you are more likely to be ‘heard out’ and believed if you are accused.

4) Do not go to nefarious websites at work. If you are accused and they pull your internet usage, it won’t look good that you visited a dildo store at work.

Be safe. Keep your personal life separate from work. I am just sayin’.

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Fetishes and Kinks, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Online Social Dating and Relationships, Tips Tricks and Advice
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Their Worse Half

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Siren

You would think that living the lifestyle (swinging, if you prefer) would result in lots of couples to play with at whim. Well, actually it does; the catch, however, is that the ones that are worth it take a LOT of work to find. The worst situation that I have run into while attempting to build my lifestyle community is the ‘worse half’ situation.

When you meet an amazing man or woman that seems to meet all of your standards and desires, it is extremely disappointing when you meet their partner/spouse only to learn that they do not meet your standards. It is even worse when they are offensive in some way.

The unappealing half of the equation may be rude, racist, obnoxious, too shy, a negative sort of perv, unattractive…the fact is that you want one and not the other. This is very touchy, and there are very few options when this happens.

So, what are the options?

First, if they only swing together, you can either overlook the problems with the ‘worse half’ and swing anyway or you walk away. Remaining friends may be an option.

The next possibility only works if the partners are allowed to play alone. If so, find a polite way to communicate that you are not interested in playing as couples and explain that you would like to try other options.

Lastly, and this is the most difficult, sit with the couple and tell them honestly why you are turned off by one of them and see if you can work around it.

Happy hunting!

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Relationships for Love and Marriage, The Lifestyle / Swinging, Tips Tricks and Advice
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Costume Conundrum

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Siren

I am renowned for waiting until the very last minute to begin my Samhain (Halloween) costume every year. I have known the basic idea behind the costume for months. I have now gotten so far as to break my sewing machine out of its box…that it has never left…since I bought it on Black Friday three years ago. Hm.

So, here is my idea; feel free to use it. It certainly has been done before, but the style in which you do it is ALL yours.

Board and Card Games.

Yes, get a group of people together and go as games. Me, I am doing twister. A friend of mine is going as Scrabble. There will likely be an Uno. You get the idea. Chess, Snakes and Ladders, and so many more! Just think of the dirty words you could make into the Scrabble costume!

That catch is that I challenge you to create the costume from scratch; don’t buy the chintzy factory-made versions (one size fits all). Make the costume, keep it to your style with flair, and own it. I am creating a bustle out of the Twister mat. Then, I am going to make a purse out of the spinner. Somehow, I have to get the four color dots over my tits and my ass. I will be wearing a black corset. This should be fun!

 

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, Adult News and Views, Pornography Erotica and Art, Tips Tricks and Advice
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Sexual Snake Oil?

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Siren

Sex sells: marketing 101.

When you add to that fact that people are terrified of losing the ability to have sex, you will find that many consumers will ‘try anything’ to pick their sex up off the floor.

I recently followed a side-bar ad to a website promising to put the ‘OH’ back in my libid-O. I started reading the herbs involved, and quickly realized that there were some very trusted herbs in that supplement. There were, however, several that doctors tout as sexual snake oils.

Therein lies the crux for me, see; I don’t trust doctors when it comes to their advice on pharmaceuticals: they are in bed with the medication manufacturers. I found another site that mentions the horrific, unspeakable condition of F.S.D.: female sexual dysfunction. The site defines F.S.D. as a period of time during which a female loses interest in sex.

Holy hell, time for me to grab my “Superbo Libido A-Go-Go” pills and make myself want sex.

I have a better idea: open up your relationship to something new. Throw in some BDSM, some swinging…just do something. Hell, even if you just bring a little porn into your mating dance, DO SOMETHING! Don’t spend $400 a year on pills that MIGHT be helping, unless you do some serious research. (and I don’t mean just doing surface searches online)

 

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, Adult News and Views, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Relationships for Love and Marriage, Sexual Health and Safety
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Updating Online Profiles

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Siren

I think I have a problem…I am addicted to updating my alt lifestyle, online profile every time my tastes and desires shift. I am so scared that I will be contacted by people that do not fit into what I want sexually at the time if I don’t keep it current (almost to the day).

My friend asked me the other day why I felt the need to constantly tweak my ‘About Me’ section; he said that the notes on the wall drove him nuts b/c it would only be like one sentence different. Hm. Good point; I ABHOR people that cram the wall feed with mindless, constant drivel. Not to mention, they end up sharing WAY too much personal information, making me wonder whether I am inadvertently doing that very thing. Ack.

So, I have been building a plan as to what warrants an update, how often I will update and what emergencies require immediate updating regardless of the prior update being earlier that day.

Siren’s Plan to Kick the Update Addiction:

1. Important changes should be updated once per week at the most frequent.

2. Emergencies that support the use of an immediate update include: a relationship status change, the need to put the “no vacancies” sign up to take a break from the lifestyle, and when a significant event drastically alters a parameter of the profile.

3. Violations to Siren’s personal identity or safety bypass all aspects of this plan wherein security is then the immediate focus.

Here goes nothing!

 

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Online Social Dating and Relationships, Relationships for Love and Marriage, Tips Tricks and Advice
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All Up In Their Shit

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Skopos

My wife and I enjoy watching porn together. It helps us get into the mood quicker and allows us to share likes and dislikes based on what we are watching. Plus, I mean it’s porn; who doesn’t like watching other people enjoying themselves?

One of the biggest pet peeves I have about typical porn was very pervasive during this session, however; and it annoyed me to the point of laughter. Yes, laughter. I get so irritated at stereotypes sometimes that it makes me laugh at humanities propensity for following similar marketing patterns. It shows their lack of vision and creativity.

Every video we watched contained about 50% footage from the perspective of a camera aimed directly at the couple’s crotches during penetrative sex.

I have never understood the need for this filming technique. I don’t stick my face down there to watch when I’m having sex with someone, and I certainly don’t stick my face down in the crotches of another couple I am watching have sex. It is too clinical and creepy to be any fun…unless done as a joke between close friends or lovers.

Yes, I love to see the act of penetration just as much as the next warm-blooded mammal; but can we please pull the camera out of their asses so the audience can see the rest of what’s going on? If I wanted a gynecological study on the mating habits of homo sapiens I wouldn’t be trolling the internet for porn!

Filed In: Opinion Rants and Controversy, Pornography Erotica and Art
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Snowballing Goal

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Siren

I was 32 the first time I ever heard the word “snowball” used in any sort of sexual context. One of my male friends was simply sharing his fetishes with me and ‘snowballing’ was one of them. Years later, now that i am 35, I have another male friend sharing this very same thing. I have only ever done it once.

So, apparently, a snowball is when you give a man head, take their cum into your mouth and then return it to the owner’s mouth via a kiss. Originally called a snowball because it was spit back as a surprise, it has maintained that title despite the fact that many men actually enjoy receiving one.

The concept of a man wanting their own cum back in their mouth was already fascinating to me. You can image how enthralled I became when I learned that SOME men like to receive a snowball from a woman or man after they have blown someone else. In other words, they want another man’s cum in their mouth.

I HAVE TO SEE THIS! Not in a video and not randomly somewhere. I want to see some male in my life do it with someone else and ME. Adding this one to my Fuck It Before I Bucket List.

 

 

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Erotica Stories and Sexual Fantasies, Fetishes and Kinks, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Relationships for Love and Marriage, Taboo and Tradition Around the World
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Did I Come On Too Strong?

Posted on October 5, 2011 by Siren

A man randomly messages me on a vanilla, social network to tell me that I am beautiful and seem to be a dominant looking for a sub. (BTW, vanilla means ‘everyday plain’)That was his first mistake.

My vanilla profile is SO locked down, you are lucky to even see the profile picture. So, where did he gain this info? Let’s see who we have in common…Ah-ha! We only share one friend, and she is a new friend recently added because she is dating a not new friend. Regardless, he followed her from an alternative dating website to the vanilla site with her permission, and he found me. Voila!

So? He lied to me. Why the hell would I want a submissive that is going to lie to me? Disrespect already.

Yet, that is not all, folks! He shared with me that he has ‘recently’ learned he ‘might’ be submissive. He wants to be tied up, tortured a little, fucked with a strap on and aggressively fucked. I am not looking for a frat boy looking to fulfill his fantasies. I am looking for the REAL deal: a confident man that will completely submit to me while I teach myself to be a Mistress.

I decided that the best option was to test his rigor and perseverance. I asked him pointed questions and he waivered at about question five. I gave him small directions; some of them he caught, and most of them he passed off. Then I challenged him, and he backed down. Not committed and not submissive. I believe I frightened him off.

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Fetishes and Kinks, Online Social Dating and Relationships
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