Today's Adult Social Media, Dating and Personals News

“News of the Screws”

After more than 168 years, the News of the World tabloid is running its last edition tomorrow, July 10th. What would cause a tabloid of such longevity to shut down its presses? Well, ironically enough, the scandal rag it has become is at the center of its own very serious scandal. Several of its reporters are accused of hacking the voicemails of thousands of people ranging from celebrities to politicians and even murder victims. (Let this be a lesson to you: Do not use some of the most common voicemail codes, especially 1234 or 0000. This may sound ridiculous, but you would be amazed how many people do not change the automatic set up codes on new voicemail accounts.)

While the paper originally reported on high- interest topics that had some respect due them, such as the American revolt, the News of the World sort of devolved into a social tabloid which has played host to such scandals as pictures of Princess Diana’s topless sunbathing expedition and countless “hooker” stories. This devolution has led to the rag’s nickname: “News of the Screws.”

As I researched the scandal which has now led the News International Chairman, James Murdoch, to shut the paper down, I was struck by a realization: I felt self-satisfied reading on how the benefactors of the paper’s proceeds from around 2.8 issues sold per weekend are being subjected to social and financial ruin. Turnabout is fair play, right?

I am not certain that I like that feeling very much. :(

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Flirting with Danger

In our technologically advanced society—where texting, instant messaging, and webcam streaming is commonplace—it is very easy for someone to engage in heavily sexual conversations and displays from the comfort of their home or office. I personally have been a webcam boy for money a few times and was paid to flirt with and put on a show for married men; men who are in the closet about their bisexual or homosexual tendencies.

How harmful is it for a married man (or woman) to flirt with strangers they never intend to meet?

Well, consider what your spouse or exclusive lover might think if they saw a naughty text message pop up on your phone while you were in the shower. Think of what they might feel if they walked in on you watching someone perform in a webcam show. Do you think they might feel betrayed and hurt? Or would they just shrug it off and say, “It’s just a harmless distraction”?

Think about it.

Relationships are built upon trust. Trust doesn’t always have to be quantified with fine print and contractual agreements. There are most definitely unspoken rules when you choose to make a relationship exclusive. You owe a certain level of disclosure to your lover or spouse about your intimate conversations and activities. They are silently expecting you to be loyal and completely truthful with them in exchange for their open heart and vulnerability.

Do not think for one second that the harmless things you do via the cellphone or the internet won’t come back to bite you in the ass and hurt the person you are supposed to hold dearest to your heart.

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Numbing the Negative

Everyone is entitled to do with their own body as they wish unless it harms another when they do not choose to be harmed. I believe this. Yet, there is one trend in the lifestyle that bothers me: the overuse of recreational drugs. I am not talking about pot. (Despite its illegal status, I don’t feel that pot is an evil drug. You cannot die from an overdose of pot and it is only habitual not chemically addictive.) I am talking about the big ones: cocaine, crack and the like.

Let me reiterate: your body, your choice. What bothers me is not the use of these drugs, though I would never use cocaine, crack or the like due to their very dangerous natures, it is something totally unrelated to the medical aspects of their use that concerns me. It seems that many women in the lifestyle NEED to use one of them in order to partake of lifestyle events. What?!

Hear me well: If you have to do a drug to be ‘okay’ with a lifestyle activity, you should consider leaving the lifestyle…at least temporarily while you get your head straight. Drugs are not the way to numb any jealousy or self-loathing that can accompany forced sexual actions. Sooner or later, you have to deal with the consequences of your choices. Drugs only delay those consequences.

I am not speaking to the people who use drugs and alcohol to augment activities which they are truly into. That is their business. I am talking about the ones that cannot handle the negative emotions and fears of multiple sex partners without them. Get off the drugs, find peace in the lifestyle, and then try again.

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I Feel Too Much

It’s no secret that not everybody is cut out for alternative sexual arrangements. Whether you are single, in an open relationship, or married swingers, there is a level of emotional control that must be learned and honed before one can be confident in the lifestyle.

You have to be able to remove yourself emotionally from your sexual partners.

Unless you are capable of viewing sex with other people as recreational, and refrain from opening your heart to everyone you sleep with, you are setting yourself up for drama, confusion, and hurt feelings. Some of us come by it naturally. Some of us learn it quickly. Some of us have to unlearn years of programming before they can accept the new concept. And then there are those who—regardless of how much reprogramming they undergo—simply feel too much.

Sex is primarily a procreative activity. It is designed to urge mammals to make babies so the species won’t die off or fail to adapt to its surroundings properly. Along with that urge to fuck come the side-effects: attachment and fixation. They help to keep family units strong so the children will have a better chance at survival and adaptation. It isn’t just religious moral views and societal taboo you are fighting when you have to remove yourself emotionally from the act of recreational sex. You’re fighting your own DNA.

Sex was never intended to be recreational only. That is a human invention, and one that I believe is a huge part of our unique evolution toward self-realization. We are breaking out of the mold of the typical lifecycle. We are trying to attain enlightenment as a species. Instead of feeding our instincts and destroying life to feed ourselves and procreate, we are trying to tend to our planet, treat our animals with dignity, and come together as a unified race which has no room for hate, jealousy, envy, or strife.

But in order to attain this level of self-realization, the first step is to fight your own internal conflict that was started by your genetics. The conflict that tells you to fall in love with everyone you bed and make a family together. It may seem counter-intuitive to remove emotional attachment in order to attain enlightenment as a species, but we’re not talking about the state of being unified on some spiritual level. We’re talking about emotions here; chemicals that drive us to instinctively passionate and irrational actions.

You have to remove your antiquated notions of love to have a more evolved level of pleasure from recreational sex.

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In This Moment: A Lament on Polyamorous Adventures

Some hold that life is made up of moments…that we should remember the good and file away the bad…that we should make plans for the future. All of this past and future, however, keeps us from the “now.” This very moment is the only moment we have wherein we can actually exercise the power of choice. I am not saying that we should forget our memories; they hold valuable lessons and powerful emotions. I am not saying that we should not look toward the future; it holds goals and anticipation. What I AM saying is that right now is more valuable than both combined.

It is in these moments where choice is alive…that pleasure is created. Here, we can choose to be reactionary or proactive.

Last night, I had an event occur which solidified this stance for me. One of my potential lovers shared that he was not interested in dating me romantically unless he could, simultaneously, date my husband. Since he had never nurtured that possibility with my spouse, there is no interest within my husband…outside of sexual. At first, I was deeply saddened. I had vested too much…allowed my heart to go too far. I had even sought and received permission to pursue a polyamorous arrangement should we progress that far. I KNEW BETTER.

I was prepared for everything when we began our talk…a reduction to friends only or the development of a deep, long-term romance, but I was NOT prepared for this. After the call last night, I drifted off to sleep with tears on my pillow and a heart made of lead. In the arms of my husband, I shared my weak moment and he comforted me with gentle words and tight hugs. He allowed me to grieve. Honestly, I believe he grieved with me, knowing that I hurt truly pains him. He is a good man and my best friend.

This makes the second polyamorous potential that has hurt my heart within the last two months. I think that polyamory is not for me at this time in my life. So, in this very moment I choose to walk away from polyamory, consider my stance on the lifestyle and focus on the development of my inner dominatrix.

I choose who and what may hurt me in this very moment.

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Inappropriate

How do you raise your child? What values do you want to instill in the heir to your DNA? Will you give them good table manners and hygiene practices? Will they have the freedom to do whatever they want or will you discipline them every time they step out of line?

It is the most emotionally charged debate anyone could ever enter into with a diverse crowd of parents.

We have parents who raise their children alone. Sometimes one parent dies or runs away from their responsibilities. Sometimes one parent ends up in prison. Sometimes a girl is irresponsible and doesn’t know who the father of her child is. Does this mean the single parent is wrong for raising their child without the other parent? Should we force the single parent to marry or put the child up for adoption so the child can have a stable two-parent household?

Consider the homosexual household. Two men or two women raising a child together. Now you have two parental figures in the child’s life, but both are from the same gender. Is this wrong? Will the child be any more or less warped growing up in a stable, loving gay household than the child who grew up with only one parent?

Imagine now, if you will, the nudist household, the polyphilia household, or the alternative lifestyle household.

I find it irresponsible for a parent to instill hatred and bigotry and closed-mindedness in their children. I was raised fundamentalist Christian and told that homosexuality and nudity were sinful and wrong. Luckily I grew out of that crap and into a more healthy mindset. So this begs the questions, “What is truly important for a child to have growing up? A stable loving parent/parental figure? Or a prudish traditional family unit that shuns anything different than itself?”

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, Adult News and Views, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Nudism in a Moral Society, Relationships for Love and Marriage
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In My Mistakes, Find the Lesson

Despite vast amounts of preparation, you will still run into problems within the lifestyle. I have been at this a while with my husband, and even our skills levels are challenged regularly. I have always been one of those people who have to learn the hard way. Maybe you can take the lessons from a few of my mistakes and save yourself some trouble.

Mistake #1: Participating in a meet-up with play potential straight out of the gate.

Lesson #1: Keep the first meet up neutral. Take the possibility of sex out of it entirely. Should you meet and sparks fly, go with it. But, keeping the expectations of sex out of it allows everyone the chance to gracefully bow out if the stars simply do not align. This is especially important when there are no other “references” from mutual friends or playmates.

Mistake #2: Disclosing too much personal information without a foundation of earned trust.

Lesson #2: The lifestyle draws in many sorts of people, and you just may land yourself one of the unstable or unsavory ones. Establish a list of MUSTS that have to be “checked off” before someone earns the privilege to know a little more about you. Keep to the basics up front. Your first name, at most your career field, your hometown, basic interests. They do not need to know your employer, your children’s names, or your home address.

Mistake #3: Allowing yourself to become attached very quickly.

Lesson #3: People are meant to move in and out of your life. It is the way of things. Sometimes, they will do so several times and at a variety of levels. When you engage in lifestyle activities, there is often an understanding that the arrangement won’t last forever. Rarely, you will meet others with whom you become actual long-term friends. But, it is more common to meet fuck buddies that will only stay around for as long as it stays fun.

Stay smart. Research. Be well.

 

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Pink Ribbons

I love boobies! I support the ta-tas as often as I can without getting my hand slapped. It doesn’t matter what size they are, they all have a place in my life.

I also am a passive animal rights advocate, though. So it irritates me when I see organizations like the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc., spreading their pamphlets and advertisements everywhere. I fully agree with their stance on bringing awareness to the public. I fully appreciate their programs that permit free mammograms for women.

But their fundraisers also go to research.

What do you think “research” means? Well, let me tell you. It means laboratory animals are bred and injected with drugs to give them cancer and then more drugs to see which chemical compound destroys the cancer without killing the animal. Pharmaceutical companies fund most of these research labs, so it makes no sense why you would desire to give money to animal cruelty. They don’t need our money. Cures are not efficiently found by doing research on animals anyway. It is time to put an end to this barbaric approach to medicine and save the ta-tas by spending more on awareness programs, early detection methods, and preventative maintenance diets.

Stop killing and torturing animals to give pharmaceutical companies more useless drugs they can peddle to hospitals and drug stores at the highest price!

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Wanna Watch the BBC?

The first time I saw that acronym used in the context of swinging and alternative lifestyles, I had no idea what it meant. I had seen BBW (big beautiful woman) before, but this was on a guy’s profile description. Turns out there’s a pretty big fetish for what is known as “Big Black Cock”, and many black gentlemen are all to happy to oblige.

Personally, I don’t really care how big a guy’s dick is as long as it can be felt and appreciated by my wife as I watch him slam it into her. Besides, a woman’s vagina before sex is only around 4-6 inches deep before hitting the cervix (7-9 inches when aroused). Once you get into the double-digits in length it kind of becomes pointless in my opinion.

But, hey, to each their own!

I’ve always wanted to see my wife take on three or more well-hung men with diverse ethnicities at once. It would be fascinating to watch. I have no self-consciousness about the size of my cock, so it doesn’t matter if they’re smaller or bigger than me. Most women I’ve had sex with in my lifetime have asked me to take it slow at first so they can build up to my length and thickness. I guess 7 ½ inches long and 5 ½ inches in circumference tends to stretch the average girl out a bit.

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Am I Worthy?

I am very excited and extraordinarily nervous! I asked a friend if he would do a scene with me…with me AS A MISTRESS!! And, indeed, he said yes! Did I mention that I am nervous? Well, now that this is suddenly very much happening, it is time to check and see if I have acquired all of the necessary accoutrements and accessories.

  • Black lingerie…check
  • Private space with mood lighting…check
  • Six inch stilettos…check
  • A throne…check
  • A crop…check
  • A variety of floggers and toys…check
  • A volunteer…check
  • A collar…OH SHIT

I have never placed a collar on a person before with the intent to accept their submission. This is a HUGE deal! This is where he passes me his will and trusts that I won’t abuse the privilege. This is where he trusts that I know what I am doing. This is where it gets as REAL!

We have elected for this scene to be sensual, but without penetration. It will be a training session with verbal commands and basic consequences. We have yet to negotiate consequences and safe words/gestures. We have decided that there will be only verbal restraints this time…and flogging. Oh, I do love to be flogged. But, in this case…I will be the flogger. Oh, so very nervous. The more I think about it, the more I start wondering if I am cut out for this. Am I worthy of his submission? He is a thoroughly amazing man. Guess we will find out really soon. All plans are that we will begin on July 23rd. Oh, my…so soon?!

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