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Did I want sex?

Posted on June 4, 2011 by Anita

I didn’t know what to think. Sure, I headed out with the intention of taking some stranger home to bed that night. But Ben wasn’t really a stranger. I had to see him in and around town a bit, how would this work? Would it make future meetings awkward? Probably. Did I want sex? Yes.

“Really?” I said. I was going to stall so I could try and think a little bit more. The alcohol was clouding my mind and making me horny.

He just shrugged. I was trying to step away from my old self and not wonder if he did this often. Was I another notch in the belt? Why did I care if I was going to be another notch in his belt, when I wanted stranger sex not just a few hours ago.

Suddenly I decided I didn’t care and preferred to have the sex. Baby steps. Sex with a semi-stranger might be better than sex with a complete stranger.

“Let’s go,” I said. I think my answer surprised him, because he raised an eyebrow.

“Sure?” he said and put his beer down. He suddenly didn’t look so drunk as he looked in my eyes to see if I was telling the truth or not.

“Yup,” I said and picked up my keys before I changed my mind. “Race you back to my house.”

He grinned and followed me out the bar door. My hands felt sweaty and I suddenly felt like a 17 year old getting ready for sex for the first time again.  It was only ten minutes later when I wondered what the fuck was I thinking?

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I wasn’t falling for any of that bullshit

Posted on June 4, 2011 by Anita

Even though I had given up on men…or at least in the traditional, monogamist, trusting sort of way…it didn’t mean my girlfriends had. I had one single friend who happened to mention a crush she had been hiding on a different single man friend of mine. Now, he was strictly a friend because there was drama I wasn’t willing to deal with in a relationship. He had hinted on more than one occasion he would date me, but I wasn’t falling for any of that bullshit.

Once my friend let this tidbit slip, I decided to introduce them. And of course, they hit it off those first few days and left me out to dry. That was fine. I was happy they were happy because then I didn’t feel pressure to date him and I didn’t hear her bitch and moan about having to go home alone again and use her toys.

They got along fine for a few weeks and we met up for drinks one night. Yeah. Then everything went to hell in a handbasket. Not with the drinks, but with what we drink. Tequila is never a good idea when you have a horny friend in a new relationship. We did a regular shot, then a body shot, then more body shots. Next thing I know, we have a sandwich going on in her bedroom. Don’t know how we got there, don’t know who suggested it. I know I ended up on the back side of that threesome…and it was fun. Not sure how that will affect their budding relationship, but then, it ain’t my problem! I gave up regular relationships with men who couldn’t commit, I don’t care if I have a future with him or not. On the other hand, she might!

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Finding a sugar daddy

Posted on June 3, 2011 by Anita

Sometimes, finding a normal man seems impossible. Someone who is close to your own age either has issues with your kids, has a commitment phobia or is simply a bitter asshole because of things that have happened to them in their own relationships. Why bother trying to find someone who you can connect with on an emotional and spiritual level. It doesn’t seem to last anymore.

I’m thinking that finding a sugar daddy is the best answer. Sure, they have some goals in mind, but so do you. A sugar daddy wants a younger, beautiful wife to show off to friends, family members or work associates. But with a sugar daddy, it’s no big deal providing that. Plus you get financial security and some perks along the way.

Who the hell needs a spiritual relationship when you can live in a big house, have clothes and jewelry at your disposal and then be on your own throughout the day to shop and do nothing of importance?

Hello! If you’ve already been around the relationship corner, do you really want to try it again? Nope. Been there, got fucked over. Done. Having a relationship with an implied agreement to be fun, with little if any restrictions on it, definitely seems to be the way to go. Especially if it is in your best financial interest. Look out for yourself (and your kids, if you have any) and do where you can make the most money or spend as little as you can and still be happy. Relationships don’t necessarily last, but the gifts from one do!

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Safe Words and Power

Posted on June 3, 2011 by Siren

Safe words. I have found myself daydreaming lately about what language I will use when I top for the first time. I started researching different safe words that people commonly use.

There was the traditional: Green, Yellow and Red. There was a more Dominatrix word: Mercy. Wait a minute?

**Siren’s ears perk up and she raises an eyebrow**

Mercy.

That is almost right. So then I do the almighty thesaurus search and find my own personal word for my submissives to seek my mercy.

Grace.

So, now I am going to start reading books on female dominance. It seems to me that it would be difficult to write a book on how to become a dominatrix. First of all, those Mistresses that I have met did not seem to have the time to write down their thoughts so that the lowly commoners could learn their tricks to happiness. Wait, here is another question:

Why would one Dominatrix want to train another woman to become a Dominatrix?

Women will readily train another woman to become a Dominatrix, but that seems contrary to nature’s logic. Is that a difference for women? Can we share our dominance as long as we maintain it over men? Well, since we are not in it to control the sexual rights to a procreative mate, maybe we have different criteria for why we allow other Mistresses to develop under our tutelage. Some may say it is for money.

“The Hiving Off of a Mistress”

That is a book I would read. It sounds provocative and powerful. It brings to surface the concept of one more experienced woman teaching another strong woman home to master her leadership skills into an Alpha Bitch mentality. Hell yeah.

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Wins and Losses

Posted on June 3, 2011 by Siren

So, my missions were to KEEP MY EYES OFF OF THE GROUND so that I could make eye contact with people and to use managerial, time-management skills with my co-workers.

I said no a lot today. I delegated, too. I answered a friend’s question with a very succinct answer that kinda shocked even me. – WIN.

I constantly caught myself walking with my eyes on the ground. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! – LOSE.

So, then I started thinking all anthropologically about genders and typical dominance patterns. Ultimately, I led myself to this question:

What really happens in a man’s head when a female

takes the top position during sex or dominance play?

I was reading through some other blogs today and came across an Interview with a Dominatrix. In short, she makes the statement that the submissive is the lucky one in the pairing, because they can lose themselves knowing that someone is there protecting them. That I completely understood. So, men submit for the same reason I do: Sometimes, we just need a long sigh of the soul.

She also mentions that a Dominatrix has to go into the other person. Basically, she has to find their buttons. I am really good at finding ways to serve men, so it will be very interesting when I have to look for ways to lead them to submission. Or, maybe I just need to look until I find someone that tells me that they want to submit to me. Does that even happen? I mean, I had a guy ask me to trample him one hour a week for $30, but I said no. Now that I think about it, that was pretty stupid.

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Do I have to dominate myself?

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Siren

Where do I look when I dominate? I am so used to dropping from eye contact by natural habit that I have no idea where my tops were looking. I always supposed they were gazing at me…taking away every expectation of privacy that I thought I held so dear. But, I am having difficulty retraining my mind to take away their privacy. Don’t get me wrong,

I really like to follow every curve of a man or a woman’s body with my eyes. It is even better if I can follow my eyes’ path with my fingertips! I am a highly physical person, so it will take a great deal of self-restraint for me to keep my lofty position of Mistress.

Assignment No.1:

Meet people’s eye contact at work and see if I can hold it until they break away (without coming across as too odd).

Assignment No. 2:

Say “no” when I want to say no and delegate when I need to.

I have been a good girl, so what do I get?

Now, just like any loving, caring Mistress, I will reward myself for following through on these directives. I get to have some time with a beautiful woman that is as excited about seeing me as I am about seeing her. If I am to assert any dominance into this relationship, I am pretty sure that this next visit is the time.

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Sex with a semi-stranger

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Anita

I ran in the house first. I wanted to make sure everything important was in order…like the condoms and a clean bathroom. But then, the lights were still out and he was bent on one thing too…the sex. I had to remember this was the new me and this wasn’t the start of a relationship. Sex. With a semi-stranger.

There was a slight knock on the door. “It’s open,” I yelled. Why did I feel nervous? I did not him a little bit.

He stepped in my front door and suddenly seemed larger than life. Oh shit. Sex was going to be good. I suddenly wanted to be naked and feel his naked skin against mine.

“Need a beer?” I asked, thinking it might be rude to just jump his bones right there. It was the real first time I had taken a man home from the bar, I still had to figure out the rules.

“Sure,” he said. I wasn’t sure if I was glad for the stall tactic or disappointed that we weren’t going to be getting naked in the next thirty seconds.

I handed him the beer and he let his fingers run over mine a minute longer than normal.

He cracked it open and I debated getting my own beer. Nah. I wanted him to finish his quickly so that I could jump his bones. I wasn’t going to figure out any rules tonight, but I was going to get my sex on in a big way…I hoped.

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Alcohol was clouding my mind

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Anita

I didn’t know what to think. Sure, I headed out with the intention of taking some stranger home to bed that night. But Ben wasn’t really a stranger. I had to see him in and around town a bit, how would this work? Would it make future meetings awkward? Probably. Did I want sex? Yes.

“Really?” I said. I was going to stall so I could try and think a little bit more. The alcohol was clouding my mind and making me horny.

He just shrugged. I was trying to step away from my old self and not wonder if he did this often. Was I another notch in the belt? Why did I care if I was going to be another notch in his belt, when I wanted stranger sex not just a few hours ago.

Suddenly I decided I didn’t care and preferred to have the sex. Baby steps. Sex with a semi-stranger might be better than sex with a complete stranger.

“Let’s go,” I said. I think my answer surprised him, because he raised an eyebrow.

“Sure?” he said and put his beer down. He suddenly didn’t look so drunk as he looked in my eyes to see if I was telling the truth or not.

“Yup,” I said and picked up my keys before I changed my mind. “Race you back to my house.”

He grinned and followed me out the bar door. My hands felt sweaty and I suddenly felt like a 17 year old getting ready for sex for the first time again.  It was only ten minutes later when I wondered what the fuck was I thinking?

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I need a cock.

Posted on June 1, 2011 by Siren

Wow, question: Can anyone tell me why every man and woman in my sex life suddenly wants me to strap a dildo on and go at them? I do not look like a man; I assure you. They are not rejecting my feminine nature, because they want that, too.

(Here is a really deep thought for you, though it belongs in another blog somewhere else, “If almost everyone you know is submissive, who is really framing society?”)

With the cock being a symbol of dominance (simple inference from connotation here, people), it is interesting that women will don one and men will take it in ceremoniously, almost.

I slid the harness up my thighs after securing the dildo.

Did a feeling of power and control envelope me? No, but I did learn something that has been pivotal for me today: You have to earn that cock, and I have not done so yet. But, I am going to.

I started by talking to a couple of my male friends that are submissives, either actively or naturally. My logic was that I could figure out what makes submissives submissive, and then I would have the key to identifying with my inner Dominatrix. There wasn’t much comment beyond the fact that it made them feel natural or turned them on. So, no mystery there; those were my same reasons.

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From Submissive to Dominant…possible?

Posted on June 1, 2011 by Siren

Whether you come across the blog as a novice or as an experienced lifestyler, this post has something for you. This is Siren D.P. Tuss…or Siren. I really hope by now that someone…maybe one of you…has been following some of my other posts. This is sort of a new area of exploration for me, actually. So, I decided…

You guys will be joining me on my journey to Dominatrix. Or, you could witness what I expect will be my natural reentry into the role of submissive…or a switch at the most. See, Siren has a long way to go. I want to know,

Why it is so fucking hard for a man to accept me with a dominant response when I let off very obvious submissive messages. So submissive, in fact, that I can’t even ask for what I really want.

So, it is with that question in mind that I embark upon the path toward Mistress Siren. I plan to be a gentle, loving and absolute dictator. But how do I reconcile this with my habitual assumption of the servant role during sex and play?

So, get ready for the really difficult questions, like:

  • Why do partners feign more dominant when they are dating you only to become neutral when you are serious enough to trust them practically with your life?
  • Why do some people feel that participating in BDSM activities should not be considered cheating, even if their unknowing partner would disapprove absolutely?

Oh my, I hope you guys are more ready for this than I am.

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