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Unicorns Are Real!

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Siren

For swingers, unicorns are the golden ticket. No, I am not talking about a horny horse (teehee); I am talking about the rare and ellusive single, bisexual female who is willing to participate in swinger and lifestyle activities.

Everyone who has been to a swinger’s gathering knows that single men are often limited in numbers by design, or they may not even be allowed in at all. This is not the case for unicorns; in fact, many swinger events and clubs will allow unicorns to come in for free or at a discounted rate.

Unicorns are not all that difficult to find; however, all parties involved in play with a unicorn should be very clear about their rules and observe hers as well. There are many benefits to being a unicorn: easier to find partners, being the center of attention and enjoying the benefits of sex without strings.

The drawbacks of being a unicorn include constant emails from couples and single men who just want to cut to the chase: fucking. Sometimes couples may treat a unicorn as though they are there for the pleasure of the couple. The unicorns often do not have a male there to help them field the “no thank you” and “please leave me along” feelings.

I have been a unicorn, and I have been with a unicorn. Being one is scary, and it taught me to be kind to them when I meet them even though I don’t swing anymore.

 

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Terms and Definitions, The Lifestyle / Swinging
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The Nine Levels of a Woman’s Orgasm

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Siren

Eastern sex practices can extend even into the bedroom thanks to the practices of spiritual-sexual Tantric skills. For those that incorporate Taoist sexual practices, withholding orgasms becomes important, specifically getting past the fourth level of the orgasm wherein most women typically climax. According to the Taoist view, there are nine levels to a woman’s orgasm in total. As I read the desciptors of each stage, the concept made absolute sense from a visualization activity standpoint. I don’t believe in magic, but I do believe that humans can learn to move energies within their bodies using creative visualization.

Watch for these…it may even help to have a camera handy so that you can go with it in the moment and analyze it later.

Level One: The woman begins to breath heavy, salivate and sigh. Her lungs become energized.

Level Two: In an act of opening up, the woman will move her tongue into her lover’s mouth and allow him to do the same to her. Her heart is now energized.

Level Three: She begins to grasp and hold her partner more tightly as if to ensure contact. At this point, the organs in her lower abdomen are energized.

Level Four: Small vaginal contractions and natural lubricant are activated. Her kidneys and bladder are energized.

Level Five: She will have loosened joints. You can see her start to spread her pelvis wider, and she may have impulses to bite her lover. Her bones are now energized.

Level Six: At this point, she will become reptile-like: undulating and attempting to coil herself around her lover. Her liver and nerves are energized at this point.

Level Seven: She begins frantically touching her lover as her blood is energized.

Level Eight: Despite the fact that her muscles begin to loosen, she may have another, more powerful urge to bite her lover. Her musculature is now energized.

Level Nine: She reaches peak orgasm and then collapes into a “minature death,” surrendering entirely. Finally, her entire body is energized as her Shakti energy has moved throught the pathways in her body. In Tantric traditions, they would say that her kundalini energy has moved through her body, activating her chakras from the root up.

Fascinating concept…I believe I will explore this, because those levels sound very familiar to the few times I have orgasmed so hard that I couldn’t move afterward and required sleep to fully recover. Hmmm…..

 

 

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, BDSM Lifestyle Alt dating, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Fetishes and Kinks, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Relationships for Love and Marriage, Sexual Health and Safety, Tips Tricks and Advice
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This Music is Just Plain Dirty!

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Siren

Just last night, I was browzing in consideration of what I might want to talk about this morning when the song “Shalale” by Makyo came on. I found myself pausing my work to listen to the throbbing, sensual sound of the song.

Next thing I know, I had this image of me face down on the futon in our living room with a lover penetrating me from behind while on his knees. Oh my, how I do love that position, especially with my hands pinned behind my back and/or my hair being pulled. (Oh, what a grand reward for taking instruction so well.)

This made me wonder what other fantasies I replay, for I had seen this face down one many times as I daydreamed. It was fairly easy to bring my fantasies to mind, and I am surprised a little bit by some of the fantasies I would never live out in reality.

Music often triggers fantasies for me. I have this one fantasy of me being nailed against a wall that comes into mind whenever I hear “All I Need” by Radiohead. Then, there are the Nine Inch Nails fantasies that are for coersing the third orgasm out when all else has failed: the gang bang line, abduction and the total stranger fantasies.

I have do not have any interest in an actual gang bang nor stranger-sex. Abduction is only possible as long as it is a time-limited experience with safe-words established performed by my trusted lover. Regardless of whether I could do them or not, they cause the taboo reaction in me and sometimes trigger an orgasm.

Sometimes, the primal me enjoys being flogged while listening to songs by Assemblage 23 (Tom Shear).

Music is a vital component of sexual and sensual atmosphere. Various online radio projects have playlists that can be created for genres. Try creating playlists in the Bristol Sound group or in the Trip Hop genre. Maybe some Cure or even Tool. Find music that turns you on in your mind, and then fuck to it; it really is that simple.

Filed In: Adult Dating Casual Sex, Bisexual or Bi-curious, Gay Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Lesbian Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Choices, Online Social Dating and Relationships, Opinion Rants and Controversy, Relationships for Love and Marriage, Tips Tricks and Advice
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Unique Sex Inventions

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Siren

“Sex sells,” has been a marketing euphemism for quite a number of years now. Still, I am constantly amazed at the new toys they have created at this point. Here are a few of some relatively recent inventions that I think are wonderful ideas.

The Fleshlight iPad cover that you can have sex with is a pretty cool idea. Hell, I know some men that practically date their iPads already; now they can consumate the relationship!

Tantric sex furniture is fascinating! Chairs with ramps and curves, the pieces are designed to maximize sensuous zone contact. They are almost like spanking benches and can even be bought with bondage points in some cases. Yum!

Glass and Pyrex dildos not only step up the level of sterility during playtime, but they can come in beautiful patterns. I have seen ones that could be considered art were you to accidentally leave it on the fireplace mantle to be seen by others.

Realdolls Sex Dolls are reminiscent of the 1987 scifi movie “Cherry 2000″. Realdolls are silicone, anatomically-correct sex dolls. Their price tag is a little high (somewhere around $6K), but you get a realistic sex toy that will let you enjoy solo sex like never before!

The Hide-a-Vibe Teddy Bear is a darn smart idea. It is a cute, plush bear with a secret compartment which can hold a vibrator, lube, anal beads, etc. He effectively hides your secret stash in plain view.

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Siren’s Porn-related Pet Peeves

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Siren

When I watch porn, I have certain moods I tend to be in, and those will often influence what types of videos I watch. There are buzz-kills for me, just as I am sure there are for many of you. I have several categories which are my favorites: BDSM training, DP, MFM, etc. For some of those, I have no interest in exploring past porn, so I am very picky when it comes to quality. Take it from a woman that is very vociferous, men often like your natural sounds — unless they have told you not to make any. My preferences are what they are.

So here is my point: I have preferences, and I have friends who have validated my opinions enough to warrant me putting my needs out there! Stop Doing These Things in Cheap Porn:

  1. Strap-ons with feelings?! I cannot stand it when a woman is penetrating another woman or man while moaning as if they feel it. Worse yet, the clips that show a person giving oral sex to a strap-on while the wearer moans in pleasure at each stroke of the tongue, really irritate me. I don’t trust the lust in the scene at that point; the movie is contrived and patronizing.
  2. Horrible music: Dear Porn Producers, we don’t listen to that horrible music in our homes during sex, and it doesn’t do anything during videos for many of us either. We can’t mute the music, because then we couldn’t hear their guttural vocalizations. Do some market research and give us movies with good music. Thank you.
  3. Dirty rooms: I like amateur porn sometimes, but it is disgusting when a video comes up showing that the room is unclean or untidy. Sex is sacred and should be given the respect of performing it in a space that is prepared for the event. I intend this comment to focus upon porn that is supposed to look like inside a home. (I like the dirty rooms of the Training of O Series – different time, different place.) Other than when intentional, clean your room before you film your porn.
  4. SHUT THE HELL UP, WOMAN! I do not like the fake moans and forced statements that some women throw out there. They are as disturbing as the “duck face” photos people take pictures of. Why? Normal fucking sounds are primal; they are not symbolic, but they should be entirely descriptive in the feelings they are projecting.
  5. Body Hair is a Matter of Preference: Yes, it is true that some people enjoy body hair. So, let’s give them category searches they can perform in order to limit viewing of the hairy videos to those that do want to view them. Or, give those such as me a category wherein I can find videos of well-groomed men and women.
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Multiple Orgasms: Why Do They Elude Me?

Posted on January 26, 2012 by Siren

I can cum 2-3 times per play session and up to 8 times in one day. These are fairly static numbers evidenced by the fact that I can recreate the experiences but not exceed their limits. I have mastered the ability to “squirt,” and I can cum when giving oral sex to a man without even touching myself, but moving beyond 3 orgasms in a session is the glass ceiling for me.

I was recently talking with one of my friends about this, and they made a good point: some women cannot get past one orgasm. I remember when that was the case for me. It wasn’t until I developed the ability to fantasize and move the passion of my thoughts into my body that I was able to cum repeatedly. Even now, it can be difficult sometimes to coax forward the ellusive orgasm.

Here are some tricks that I use to cum that second and third time: may they be useful to you!

First, use your mind instead of your body to create the perfect environment. Experiment with thoughts of gang bangs, bondage or whatever gets your engine going. Avoid applying fantasies to bring out the first orgasm; make that a physically derived outcome. Apply the fantacies and erotic visualizations to the second orgasm.

Secondly, work your fantasies in and out of the situation. If you try to constantly keep your fantasy going, you will deny yourself of the sudden urges that follow the initiation of a new fantasy. Fantasize and then focus on the reality. Then, repeatedly bring the fantasy in and out of play.

Also, make sure to have lube handy. Your lower body may respond to the first orgasm by going dry. Your body may be sated, but your mind doesn’t have to agree. Apply ample lube. Being concerned with drying out can mess with your libido.

Relaxation plays a critical factor in multiple orgasms for me. If the person with me is pressuring me to cum again, I have trouble. I have to allow the contractions of the first orgasm to settle before I begin coercing out the next one. (I wonder what would happen if I was placed in a BDSM situation wherein my master ordered me to cum a forth time. Since, I have vowed to never fake an orgasm…)

Now, can anyone give me tips on cumming beyond the third time…please?

 

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Peculiar Conditions Associated with Sex

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Siren

Though these conditions are not very common, they do exist. I wanted to discuss them mainly because I have recently met two people who have experienced one of these conditions. It struck me that they both said they had never heard of them until they had them personally. Maybe hearing about them early could help someone feel less alone if they experience them.

1. Post-Orgasmic Illness: Believed to be caused by a man’s allergy to his own semen, post-orgasmic illness presents as a series of severe (often debilitating) symptoms that show up immediately following ejaculation. The symptoms can last for a few hours or even days. Symptoms can be psychologicial and/or physical. They may include cognitive disfunction, fatigue, headaches, confusion, flu-like symptoms and intense warmth through out their body, similar to a fever.

2. Sex Headaches (AKA coital cephalalgia): These headaches typically begin immediately preceding an orgasm and may last for a few minutes up to several days. Most frequently, the headaches occur at the base of the skull near the neck, but they can also happen just behind the eyes. They are usually very intense and onset suddenly. Doctors believe the headaches may be associated, in some cases, with a pressor response to exercise, meaning a nerve reaction to increased blood pressure.

3. Sexsomnia (sleep sex): This is the dirty version of sleep-walking. Individuals who experience sexsomnia participate in sexual activities while sleeping: masturbation, sexual intercourse, and fondling, for example. I, personally, have awakened to find myself in full orgasm as I was stimulating myself with my hand. It was disquietening at the time despite its positive outcome.

4. Restless Genital Syndrome: Another dirty cousin to a relatively common condition (restless leg syndrome), restless genital syndrome manifests almost entirely in women. It involves the experience of genital sensations that may feel like tingling, itching, pressure, waves, small shocks and even cramps in the genital region. Masturbation and sexual intercourse do not seem to relieve the symptoms in most cases. Black Snake Moan is suddenly popping into my mind…

5. Dyspareunia: This is a frustrating condition which involves pain during sex that is not easily explained by common health ailments. The possible causes are prolific: semen allergies, muscle contractions, skin conditions and a variety of other causes not specified.

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Is Cancer Sexually Transmitted?

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Siren

The answer to the question above, “Is cancer sexually transmitted?” is tricky. It is true that you cannot catch cancer, nor is it directly transmitted by sexual acts. However, a MAJOR key contributor to certain types of cervical cancer in women and anal cancers in both men and women is most certainly a sexually transmitted illness: the Human Papillomavirus (HPV).

There are more than 40 strains of HPV that have been identified at the time of this article. Genital warts, for example, are a condition that is caused by a strain of HPV. In fact, HPV is one of the most common forms of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) out there! HPV can be transmitted during vaginal, anal and oral sex as well as both primary and secondary genital-to-genital contact. In some cases, it can be transferred from mother to fetus/infant.

Many people have been infected but do not know that they have it. Individuals who live highly sexual lifestyles are encouraged to add HPV screenings to their regular STI screenings. You can take precautions to decrease the likelihood you will contract HPV, but note that condoms are not completely effective with dermally transmittable illnesses such as this.

Men and women are equally vulnerable to infection, and many people do not show any symptoms of infection. This makes them carriers. There are vaccines for two of the types of HPV which are known to have a strong correllation with cancers: Gardasil and Cervarix.

In short, if you are sexually active, make certain you are safe, have frequent health screenings for HPV and work to stay healthy overall. Many strains of HPV are effectively dealt with by strong immune systems.

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Commitment Phobic in Romance

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Siren

I have run from romantic commitments for years now, and I don’t know why. I can dive head-first into friendships and be committed indefinitely…even friendships with benefits…but toss in words like love, forever and long-term, I start to get scared. I have attempted to talk this out with many of my friends and my partners, but I only confuse and frustrate them.

People like permanence and security; therefore, they begin to seek such things fairly early in the courting process. I, on the other hand, enjoy the flush of feelings and seek to build a friendship that endures time. I dodge the word love as it relates to romance, but will openly share it with friends. I am usually capable of building such friendships without any issue, unless they are one of those rare friends who trigger deeper feelings in me that are more romantic and permanent in nature. This doesn’t happen often, but I have to fight the impulse to run when it does.

It is ironic that I cleave to the concepts behind BDSM so freely, which is build on rules with consequences, and flee from monogamy and restrictions. BDSM, inherently, plays host to a high level of trust and dedication. These I can give freely. Even in this subculture of dominance and submission, I still start to struggle with the bondage of commitment in a romantic sense.

It isn’t that I simply want my sexual freedom. I am currently in a partnership that allows me almost complete freedom; still, I shy from the idea of forever. I have always been this way. Recently, I have begun to research how to get over the fears of romantic commitment and to let go of my impulse to run. One of the things that keep recurring in the suggestions of many of the articles is to list things about commitments that trigger the fears. So, here goes…

Fears That Trigger Siren’s Commitment Phobia

  1. Opening my heart to someone who will ultimately abandon me.
  2. Fear of rejection due to my quirks. (I am rather quirky.)
  3. Fear of financial hardship…having to support a partner when they are not fighting to contribute evenly.
  4. Fear of boredom.
  5. Fear of co-dependency

These are fairly significant fears, but life is slipping by me. I have so many true friends and amazing partners in life; I need to open myself up to them completely. Oh, but I am terrified even as I seek it.

 

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Fetishists on Etsy?!

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Siren

Mention Etsy to a group of women, and it is likely that they will start cooing about a bag that they found there or some homemade jewelry they have been coveting. Many who have not specifically searched for BDSM items would be surprised to learn that Etsy also caters to the world of fetishists.

There are corsets and other fetish-related accoutrements. But the real fun begins when you type “BDSM” in the search box.

Cuffs, shackles, yolks, spanking benches, collars, canes, crops, paddles, cages…oh, my!

What was even more fascinating was the OBVIOUS level of pride and craftsmanship that went into so many of the pieces. Attending events and conferences, I have found, puts me in contact with vendors who either over-price their beautiful wares because of their cornered market or try to sell crap at the prices of good stuff. On Esty, it seems more balanced.

I don’t normally plug websites on here, but if it means supporting a subculture I love while simultaneously helping to fund American-made products…hell yeah, I am going to plug it!

I would like to see more merchants hawking bondage, discipline and sadomasochistic wares locally evolve their businesses to include an online presence. In areas such as my city, it can be difficult to find local fetish merchants. Online stores allow us to find one-of-a-kind and custom pieces which enrich our experience of our sexual and social taboos. Etsy…go figure!

Better hide my credit card!

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